Sex during pregnancy
According to the current state of science, in the case of an uncomplicated pregnancy, there is no need to give up sex. In addition to medical considerations, of course, the most important thing is that both parties enjoy intercourse. What could be the obstacle to this? For example, the changed hormones of the expectant mother: some people desire eroticism and some people have a drop in libido. The changed body image of the expectant mother can be a problem: some experience this period as the fulfillment of their femininity, while others do not feel attractive due to their widening hips and watery body. It is a common fear for both men and women that the fetus feels intercourse, or that it may even be harmful to it. Let me reassure everyone: due to the strong muscles of the uterus, the amniotic fluid, and the closed cervix, the baby does not directly feel anything from intercourse. Quite the opposite! If it is not a dangerous pregnancy, then the hormones produced during the pleasure experienced by the mother have an indirect beneficial effect on the fetus. And no, you don’t have to be afraid of orgasm either: the uterine contractions that occur when experiencing pleasure are not the same as labor contractions.
Honest communication is especially important during this period. Who has what fears about intercourse? Why does who desire or not desire eroticism? What are the poses and methods of stimulation that are most comfortable for a woman, where she can best control the depth, intensity, and pace of penetration?
Everything is okay, everything is allowed as long as it is good for both members of the couple, brings joy, and of course, there are no medical contraindications.
Starting over – sex after childbirth
Perinatal (postpartum) sexual health is unfortunately not part of the average educational programs, it is not part of prenatal care. This is worrying because in the long term, the deterioration or lack of a sexual life not only affects a woman’s body image and self-esteem, but also her relationship and the experience of her new parental role.
But let’s be aware: with the arrival of a baby, eroticism is not the first priority for new mothers. Unroutine, lots of new tasks, lack of sleep, and nitpicking relatives can make women’s mental lives difficult. Not to mention physical regeneration. The recommended 6 weeks is a health data, everyone may feel different when they feel the desire for sexuality again. Be patient with yourself! Don’t fall for the “success stories” whose first sex was wonderful, painless and ended with an overwhelming orgasm! It can be like that. It can also be that due to hormonal changes or birth trauma, sexual desire decreases drastically, penetration is painful, and reaching orgasm becomes difficult. Pain is always a sign that something is wrong, don’t turn a blind eye to it! Using lubricant can provide a temporary solution. If this is not enough, you should definitely see a doctor, as the underlying cause may be an infection or poorly healing tissue injuries. It is worth following the writings of physiotherapists and gynecologists who deal with postpartum regeneration – and not only for mothers. Dads, please support your partner in their physical and mental difficulties!
Katalin Katona
sexual psychologist
one of the founders of the Dámia Sexual Therapy Center