Below we have collected some tips on how to start a conversation about sex toys.
The first thing to remember is that expanding your sexual horizons is normal and not shameful. Adding a sex toy whether a cock ring, g-spot vibrator or bondage gear into your relationship can impact your relationship in the best ways from helping you to be more direct in the bedroom, to fostering a safe space to talk about kinks and desires.
However, you may be worried that your partner won’t be happy with your new toy. Unfortunately, there are many negative things associated with sex toys, so it’s worth talking through why you want to try the game together and how each of you feels about it. If you can do this, you can strip the game of its taboos and have new experiences with it.
By communicating to them why you want to try out a sex toy together then they should be able to see that sex toys aren’t as intimidating as initially thought.
Create an open dialogue about sex!
Create a comfortable and sex-positive dialogue with each other. One way you could do that is by sharing a recent sexy thought, alternatively, a fun activity is to brainstorm a list of every sexual act you can think of together, then, separately, rate them according to what you would do, might do, wouldn’t do, and dare to share the answers. The most important aspect of this, as well as the sharing, is to be non-judgmental about what your partner shares with you.
It is very important that you can do all this in a safe environment, so that neither of you feels ashamed about your shared desires and fantasies. It is often difficult to talk about your desires with your partner, so it is very important to respect what the other person shares and be accepting of it. If your partner feels that they are not judged, they will be more likely to open up and listen to your desires.
Initiate the conversation
After you’ve talked about a few sexual fantasies and poses, you can bring up sex games. Since this can be an awkward topic, the most important thing is complete honesty, openness, and a lot of playfulness to ease the awkwardness.
Be sure to discuss in advance when and how a game will be introduced. Even if the relationship is very spontaneous, it is not worth surprising the other person with a game during sex.
It is important to make this conversation as open, honest and playful as possible.
Selecting a toy
The key is to focus on how a sex toy can benefit both of you, emphasize the mutual pleasure, the body exploration and the mind-blowing orgasms you can both reach with a little help.
What kinds of sex do you both enjoy? Are you more anal or vaginal penetration focused? G-spot or clitoral stimulation? Do you like mutual masturbation or penetrative play? Vibration patterns or static dildo? Remote controlled or manual?
By you and your partner getting involved in the decision process the addition of a sex toy will feel like a choice you have both made, regardless of who brought it up initially.
Explore together
When it comes to actually getting down to playing with your new sex toy, depending on the dynamic of your relationship, you can either experiment with it yourself so that you can show your partner confidently what it can do, or make a point of unwrapping and exploring it together.
Be curious about your partner’s reaction – whether they seem surprised, nervous, hesitant or raring to go, talk about what you are both feeling and let your natural reactions guide you in your adventure. There are so many ways to play, think outside the box when it comes to trying out a sex toy.
Basically, this short article wanted to point out how important it is to talk to our partner about our fantasies and to get to know our own body’s desires better.