In recent years, the top sexual searches on the Internet have included the questions “how to masturbate” and “how to reach climax.” The topicality of this topic, and the amount of taboos, misconceptions, and anxiety surrounding it, is also supported by therapeutic experience. A multitude of religious, social, family, and cultural beliefs may be behind why many people still think of masturbation as a harmful activity today. We can’t say it enough: completely wrong. No study has yet reported on the harmful effects of masturbation. However, it does report on its benefits: it helps reduce stress, has a pain-relieving effect, and according to some research, it even strengthens the immune system. Masturbation helps you explore your own body, identify what kind of stimulation feels good, and which are the most sensitive points on the genitals.
The question often arises as to whether masturbation has a place in a relationship? Well, as a sexual psychologist, I have to say: yes. Of course, it depends on many things whether it can fit into your erotic life in its naturalness. For example: does masturbation bother either of you? If so, what options are there for the other party to accept it? To what extent can you tune in to each other, whether in sex or in other areas of life? Can you talk openly about your sexual needs? What is the level of intimacy between you? Do you require the same amount and quality of sex?
Masturbation in itself – whether enjoyed together or separately – does not preclude a good and satisfying sex life between the couple. When is it worth intervening? If masturbation interferes with sexual functions (e.g. premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, lack of orgasm), if it generates anxiety or shame, or if someone chooses to do it instead and refuses to have sex with a real partner.
Katalin Katona
sexual psychologist
one of the founders of the Dámia Sexual Therapy Center