As women, most of us have a list in our head of things that make us sexually attractive. Women’s magazines (and of course men’s magazines too) clearly outline desired appearances. Mostly just the outer appearances. But is it really only the magical 90-60-90 ratio, the outer appearances of youth, and adherence the current beauty standards that can make us sexy? Hardly.
Let’s begin with something that might not be so obvious. Ovulation. To be sure, those who are currently in their fertile period are more likely to arouse men’s interests. Though the ways in which the female body indicates this, and how men pick up on these cues remains somewhat of a mystery, I still want to share some research that’s been done on the subject. According to scientific observations, 24 hours before ovulation the shape of women’s hands and ears becomes much more symmetrical. Why is this interesting? Because symmetry is attractive, since achieving it is near impossible and as such it points to a good genetic pool and overall health. Ok, so this isn’t exactly what the magazines are writing about as prime erotic body parts, but that’s just science.
Another research found that regardless of physical appearance, men found women who laugh at their jokes more attractive. What should be highlighted here is that it’s recommended to let the man take the lead when it comes to joking around, as it’s women’s laughter that increases attraction.
The third point I’d like to make is about honesty. During a study where women’s sexual attractiveness had to be determined based on photos, neither intelligence nor independence was judged as positively as the perception of honesty. Further research showed that if a woman possesses positive character traits (such as kindness, or assertiveness), then her physical appearance becomes much less important.
Ok, so I’d like to include something a little less mystical; wearing red. Whether it’s on the face, clothes, lips or another way, it is sure to increase a woman’s sexual attractiveness in the eyes of men.
I should also mention that the appeal of mystery, which is often invoked, is not totally clear. Research tells us that those women who openly discuss their wants and needs are easier to understand, and it makes them more attractive to men. This goes hand in hand with the fact that men find it sexy if a woman dares to express her sexual desires, or her desire for sex at all. And what increases a woman’s sexual desire? No, it’s not testosterone levels or other hormones. The current scientific position on this is that pharmaceuticals can’t intervene in this: the more satisfied a woman is in her relationship and the more balanced she is emotionally, more she will desire sexual intimacy.
Finally, to include the experiences of our clients. Women are sexy if they aren’t destroying a man’s self-esteem. They’re sexy if they can be passionate in their daily lives – be that through cooking, work, anything, as long as she dares to experience her impulses intensely. Physical perfection and beauty are just a matter of aesthetics. Attractiveness comes from many things, has many building blocks, but the most important cornerstone is a woman’s natural confidence.
Katalin Katona
sexual psychologist
one of the founders of the Dámia Sexual Therapy Center